| Monday, April 30, 2007 |
| A Coward !! |
Once Upon A Time, i had a writing career being a member of the editorial staff of one of the most popular English magazines in Cairo.
At that time, my writings were abundant and creativity was on fire but i never thought i was a good writer back then .. more of a coward.
I'm more into playing God and building up characters. Writing stories is what i do best and love most, but I never had the guts to write about lust, sexual issues or even a kiss as i was afraid of the readers' reaction.
My first published particle was censored by my supervisors because of a kiss i put between the main two characters. It was a romantic thing for Valentine's issue and the kiss had to come, but i resigned for the sake of being a published writer.
All that time i was trying to convince myself and the others that i don't care about people's opinion in what i write while the truth is that i care about nothing but their opinions and thoughts and i put in consideration their belief and traditions which affected my writings and cornered my creativity.
Now i feel more of a grown up who can discuss taboos in a more open freely way. I REALLY don't care about people's opinion. I can't make the whole world satisfied.
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posted by Sherif _ الهراوي @ 7:55 AM  |
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| Saturday, April 28, 2007 |
| The Pill |
Anti-depressant pills are often prescribed to patients diagnosed with depression such as prozac. They say it decreases suicidal tendencies but what if the patient just stopped taking the pill ?
I've always thought that when i reach the point where i have no self esteem, motivation, or whatever drive in life, it would be the end of this life, unfortunately this never happened.
I've never had suicidal thoughts or attempts, i just transitioned from the life of no value to the non-existence which is way worse than suicide. When you lose motivation in your life or career it's like you stopped taking the pill that helps you move on and hence the question is what would make you start taking it back ?? .. Would a friend help you ? Or would you discover somewhere inside you a hidden power that will drive you forwards ?
I had a friend once whom i noticed on his forearm suicidal marks with pink crustations which meant they were new.. I asked him and he confirmed and asked me not to tell and i didn't tell and didn't help him the way i should have. Maybe if i had helped him then , i would have found help now. But, that's not how it is. He moved on and became a successful man and that incident is just mere history that we laugh about...
I don't know if that's the case with me
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| posted by Sherif _ الهراوي @ 11:30 PM |
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| Thursday, April 26, 2007 |
| A Tribute to my late Uncle .. |
I didn't know from where i'd start .. but i've decided to start with the latest in my life.
I Had an Uncle - and saying had really hurts - who's been diagnosed with Lymphoma ( A Tumour ) a year and half ago and through innumerable sessions of chemo and radiation, i got to watch him die every day before my eyes which was a feeling i can't even describe.
His condition has markedly deteriorated over the past three months and he was admitted to the hospital all that time and that was when i knew that death was coming .
I don't fear death and totally accept the fact that people do die .. and that was the problem.
I had faith issues at the time - and still have to a much lesser extent - so i think that was the cause i've become greatly insensitive and not caring about my to-be-dead uncle .. I simply didn't care.
It Kills me to say it now as when it happened and he passed away i couldn't stop my tears until he was buried .. I really cared but just didn't know it.
I had a friend at that time whom i wished would have told me anything , but he simply didn't give me any comment .. Did he beleive i was that insensitive or did he also just didn't care ?
Looking back at it now, I didn't cry for the loss of my uncle .. I cried for the loss of the days i've wasted being insensitive .. the days i'm never getting back .. the days where i have awaited his death i now regret .. the days where i was far away ... If Only remorse could help me.
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| posted by Sherif _ الهراوي @ 9:18 AM |
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| Intro |
I am an average man who's done quite a few mistakes in almost all aspects of life.
I won't claim that my life is the worst on Earth or the most messed-up in history .. I won't do that. But, MY life is messed-up to me and that's quite enough for my humble being at the time being.
I'm writing this so that i can shout out everything i couldn't in the past. I'll write about my mistakes and the faux-pas i've done in the past, maybe i'll learn from them when i read them or someone else would. Maybe your opinion would be enlightening and i would benefit from it.
Lots of Maybes but i'm sure you'll never get bored .. I've seen and known a lot of stuff and have done so much more.
I'm writing under my real name because i'm at this stage of my life where i have nothing to regret or care about .. Highly low self esteem !
I won't mention real names .. maybe initials and for those who might get hurt from what i'm writing .. i apologize in advance.
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| posted by Sherif _ الهراوي @ 8:39 AM |
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| About Me |
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Name: Sherif _ الهراوي
Home: ام الدنيا
About Me: لطالما سرت و سرت .. لا أصطدم بشى سوى أكتاف آخرين
.. يسيرون في اتجاه غير اتجاهي
.. حتى وجدتك
.. لم أر وجهك قط
.. لكن يكفيني أن لكلينا ذات الإتجاه
See my complete profile
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